


the chef position is not open

by Kugawing



Series: stick figure shipping hours [3]
Category: Henry Stickmin Series (Video Games)
Genre: Bad Cooking, Selectively Mute Henry Stickmin, charles also has two hands!!, charles as toppat leader, ellie is his right hand lady, henry is a new recruit, henry is a thief for a reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kugawing/pseuds/Kugawing
Summary: Henry Stickmin is recruited into the Toppat clan. Charles has a crush and the Toppats need a new chef. Ellie thinks she has a solution to both problems.She, in fact, is wrong.
Relationships: Charles Calvin/Ellie Rose/Henry Stickmin
Series: stick figure shipping hours [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1914718
Comments: 5
Kudos: 99





	the chef position is not open

**Author's Note:**

> I see a lot of fics where whenever Charles is the Toppat leader, Henry works for the government. I present to you an alternative take, which I hope you enjoy!

Charles Calvin was the leader of the largest criminal organization of the globe. Members across the world fell to his word, submitted to his reign in exchange for being allowed to run mostly free and have a large family backing them. Charles liked to think that he'd done a good job as leader so far. Really, whenever he surveyed the members of the Toppat clan, their biggest complaints were about him almost driving the airship into things and the food. He couldn't really help the former issue, though, and time hadn't allotted too much search into the latter.

In order to have a large family, members had to constantly be added in. Slow process, allowing the clan to make sure that the hand they were extending would not be betrayed. It was slow and boring, and Charles really wished that he had a way to spice it up a bit. Making things personal with the leader of the clan and his right hand helped a little, but it wasn't enough in his opinion.

Enter Henry Stickmin, a thief that by all means should have been recruited nearly a year ago. The information on him was remarkably thorough when Charles read over the document asking for him to be recruited. Originally he'd thought this one to just be another recruit to help grow the family, but swiftly the file had turned to grow more and more interesting. Tried to break into a bank, that wasn't all that thrilling. Nearly every thief had some thoughts of bank robbery at some point. Then, he broke out of prison alone. Normally Charles had to send entire raids down to free people from prisons - this being where his interest began to rise.

The theft of the Tunisian diamond had him sold on the other's capabilities. 'Extremely lucky', the document had said. 'Handle with caution. Difficult to contain'. Those comments were written and underlined to mark them as incredibly important. The other even had a cute face to boot, if Charles allowed his mind to deviate from professionalism for a moment. Not that he could, because he already had a girlfriend! Sure, he'd came out to her as polyamory when they had started dating, but the instant that the chance arose he found his chest light with butterflies. He stamped the folder with his approval and slid it over to Ellie. His right hand picked up the file, shuffling it against the table. "That was... quite fast. Not even an hour?" Ellie's head curiously tipped to the side.

Charles shuffled in his seat, setting the stamp down. "What can I say? He's a pretty open and close case." A shrug of his shoulders, hand raising to adjust his jacket's sleeve. "The Tunisian diamond was gonna be one of Jeffery's heists, right? Maybe when we bring him on board we can get him to bring it with him. Be a bit of an odd paperwork session though, huh." A laugh, leaning back in his seat. A hand rubbed his face, briefly questioning why it felt warmer than normal. "First section, Toppats involved? None. Imagine where we'd file that!"

Ellie rolled her eyes, putting the file under an arm. "Alright, alright." Eyes narrowed briefly, before she spun on her heel and began to move to the door. "Don't forget we have lunch at one!" The Right Hand Lady added in, standing in the doorway. Her face was disgusted at the notion of eating another meal in the cafeteria, where the food was soggy and nasty. Charles really needed to look into getting a chef. "And we still need to figure out if we're confirming that heist for the Norwegian emerald."

And so Henry Stickmin was kidnapped by the Toppat clan. According to the report that landed on Charles' desk, they had to bribe the thief out with confections. What the confection was didn't happen to be in the report. Hm. It wasn't incredibly important information, but it gave him something to ask the other about. Personal interviews after a tour were something that Charles had implemented. Just to make sure that he knew every new recruit's real thoughts about the spaceship, the clan, and more. He had just enough time to read over how the recruiting went when the thief wandered into his office.

"Ah, Henry! I'm Charles, the leader of the Toppat clan!" He gestured with a thumb to himself, standing up from his seat. "There's a seat right there if you wanna sit down. Perfectly understandable if you wanna keep standing." He flashed a normal charismatic grin, pointing to the seat of question. The thief before him glanced at the seat, giving it a speculative look for a few moments before finally sitting. Smiling, Charles sat down again and folded his arms on the table. "Right! So, the reason we've brought you here is because your skills as a thief are absolutely amazing. Hard to find that sort of talent just laying around. There's a position in the clan for you, if you'd like it."

Silence. Charles gently fidgeted with his headset, uncertain as to why the only response he was getting was a blank stare. Perhaps his fidgeting was also caused by the fact that, once again, his mind began to flake over to a train of thought that he normally could only reserve for Ellie: of adorable, of wanting to care for, of wanting to protect with his life. Which was weird, considering that the other hadn't even spoken a word to him. Internally Charles shrugged, leaning back in his chair. Patiently waiting for an answer. It seemed the other's stoic face could only hold for so long, and finally his hands lifted. A series of slow, uncertain, methodical hand movements followed.

It was sign language, and Charles knew absolutely nothing about it. _Shit._ Charles could pilot an aircraft, file paperwork, and undergo a heist, but the language of hands? It slipped his knowledge, and caused his face to redden. "Oh. You don't speak? That's cool, that's fine. Let me get you a notepad real quick." Flinging open a drawer, searching and rummaging through. Eventually he found a piece of paper and a clipboard, and snagged a pen off his desk. "Um. Yea, this hopefully should be about the same as the notepad."

Henry absently clicked the pen a few times, turning it between his fingers. He stared at the pen while he momentarily set it aside to slip the paper onto the clipboard's holding point. It was a shiny pen, Charles could agree, and watched as the other began to scribble away. Finally the clipboard was turned around for him to see. Before he had a chance to read, the door opened.

In strolled Ellie, red hair a bit messy from whatever it was she'd been doing previously. Eyes widened with surprise to see Henry in the office, her red gaze flickering between the two men. Snapping her fingers, then opening her mouth to speak. "Post tour interview?" She assumed as she strolled around the desk. Her seat was next to Charles, and he gave her a wide and delighted grin.

Henry had begun to sign again, before his face began to fall and his hands began to feel around for where he'd set the pen. "Yea, standard post tour interview. I'm offering him a place in the clan. He'd be great at helping out on heists." 

"Good thing I came in," Ellie said as she lifted her elbows to rest on the table. She swiftly began to move her hands, a smirk growing on her face when Henry struggled out a gasp of surprise. "I happened to pick up a bit of sign language before I joined the clan. Not the best at it, but I can kinda get the gist." Her head turned, returning Charles' grin. He felt absolutely struck - how did he not know this about his Right Hand Lady, his _girlfriend_ \- and yet pleasantly surprised.

A grin had sprung across Henry's face, and he gave the red haired thief a thumbs up when she had finished speaking. "See, this is why you're my Right Hand Lady," Charles said before Henry began to sign again.

Ellie hummed in response, her leaning forward to watch Henry's slow movements of the hand. "Yea, I know," she said with a brief glance to Charles. "He wants to join, but he does want to know what sort of benefits he'll be getting from joining the clan. And restrictions, I think. Didn't quite catch that part."

"Well, a couple of benefits is you get to be around some of _the_ greatest thieves in the world!" Charles exclaimed as he spread out his arms to aid the dramatic flair of his words. "You get to steal when you want and where you want. The only big restrictions are respecting your clan members like family and not doing your fellow Toppat harm. And wearing a top hat. That's a big part."

A nod came from the other, clicking the pen thoughtfully with his thumb. Consideration and thought flickered across his face; adorable face, Charles thought before he could stomp down on the thought. Henry began to sign again, and a snort came from Ellie. A glance was given to Charles, a thoughtful expression on her face swiftly growing devious. Charles should know that expression well, considering how he often saw it whenever the two Toppats were out on heists. Quickly she began to sign back, albeit stuttering through the motions. Henry seemed to get the point nonetheless.

"Alright, I think we're good to get him a card and a room." Ellie stood and smoothed out her purple coat, a hand extended to help Charles up. "I'll take care of that, you get his paperwork done in the meanwhile."

Was that a _wink_ she gave to him as the two left through the doorway?

* * *

Henry Stickmin was many things. A thief, a burglar, a convict. Romantically involved was not one of those things. He was a cold blooded thief with no care in the world other than whatever shiny objects happened to catch his eye. The pen Charles had given him was safety tucked away in a pocket, and a thumb gingerly rubbed along the slick side.

"Mighty odd question you asked back there," came the voice of the lady in red that walked next to him. Her name was Ellie, he had managed to grasp such during her initial blunder of sign language. Someone close to the Toppat clan's leader, he knew. "Let's get to a more secluded place and I can elaborate a little." They turned down a hallway, and Ellie groaned as the door refused to budge no matter how many times she swiped her card through the slot.

Romantic Henry was not, but it surely couldn't hurt to _ask_ , could it? He'd seen a few couples on his tour, and figured that shooting a blind shot when he'd been just how adorable the leader was in person couldn't hurt. He was a thief, and he figured that if he was going to get tossed out he might as well go out in style. Ellie groaned, slamming an arm against the door in frustration. Henry briefly tapped his chin in thought, and moved over to the door's locking mechanism.

"Don't even bother, we're gonna have to go around." Ellie had begun to insist. Henry, of course, didn't take failure as an option. A little bit of lockpicking without a lock later, and the door was open. Just like Ellie's mouth. " _Excuse me?!_ " She sputtered, gesturing to the lockpick that Henry held between his fingers.

He fiddled with the silvery item for a moment, then slipped it back into his coat's pocket. _'Luck_ ,' he signed with a shrug following his words. Ellie still seemed dumbfounded, to which Henry couldn't understand. Ellie stared at his hands that lingered in the air with doubt and confusion clear on her face. ‘ _Extraordinairily lucky,_ ’ he then tacked on as if it would somehow explain how he lockpicked a door with a mechanized lock.

“Bull,” Ellie muttered beneath her breath. She decided to not further question Henry’s antics, which was good. Frankly, he didn’t know the half of it himself. He swore that he should have died, considering all the antics that he’d gone through in the past year and a half. He’d figured out by now that death and failure was not an option. No matter what situation he found himself in, what he needed to succeed was given to him on a silver platter. Henry didn’t mind. Whatever it was that caused for this change was currently allowing him a somewhat stable chance of an occupation.

The two moved down a hallway and up a staircase. A functioning door later, and Ellie came to a halt. She leaned against one of the walls, hat tipping down a little over her face. “Alright. You wanna know if the chief is taken?” She crossed her arms over her chest, tongue clicking against the roof of her mouth. “Kinda. It was a little bit rough at first, but I’ll put it simple for you. Charles likes both. Charles likes many. He likes precious things. He’s the leader of the Toppat clan after all. When he saw your file? I _knew_ he was going to make catching you a priority.”

‘ _He did have a shiny gemstone on hat,_ ’ Henry mused with his hands. A small shuffle of his feet as Ellie squinted at the movements. She wasn’t doing terribly for someone that hadn’t been taught sign language. Henry had struggled to learn himself, and he couldn’t say that it didn’t earn his amazement. 

A snort came from Ellie, head lifting up so that Henry could see her scarlet eyes roll. “That he does. Back to the point. Me and Charles are dating. I’m his Right Hand Lady, I’m sure you have heard. I don’t think there’s ever been a Toppat clan leader that’s dated two people at the same time.” A hand raised to tuck red hair back under her pink top hat. “He was star stuck when I saw him reading about you. I’m not good at sharing,” she noted, “but I think it would make Charles very happy.”

Henry turned as he heard slow footsteps approaching. Another Toppat member walked through the hallway, waving to Ellie as they passed. A little bit suspicious at Henry’s presence, considering that he was a new face that lacked a top hat. He waved nonetheless, watching them continue on after little hostility was shown. ' _Thieves sharing. Never would have expected it,_ ’ he said with a wheezy chuckle sounding. He hated his voice, absolutely hated it. He had many reasons for deciding to keep his voice silenced. A chuckle he would allow, a chuckle could part his lips and he would not be upset.

“Yea. Now, the only real problem is breaking this news to Charles. I want it to be dramatic. To him, and to the clan.” She leaned forward, deviousness glinting in her eyes. Henry had seen it on his own face many a time, staring back at him as he stared into the void of a television that was telling him where his latest heist should be held. “Are you good at cooking? Could be a temporary rank for you until that paperwork gets approved.”

Henry put his hands back in his pockets. Gently he rubbed against the pen again, turning the offer over in his head. He’d cooked some instant noodles before the Toppat clan had snagged him. Microwaving noodles in a bowl counted as cooking, right? The shrug that he gave to the other seemed to work just fine, and she whisked him off down the hallway.

* * *

"I told you we had lunch at three." Charles' head jerked upright from his desk, his head having previously been resting on the polished wood surface. At the doorway stood Ellie, her arms crossed over her chest. A smile was on her face nonetheless, and she rolled her head. "Come on, I think I've got a pretty nice surprise for you. Hopefully it'll be better than yesterday's extra surprise pile of paperwork."

He shuffled his papers against his desk, lining up their edges before setting them down. The Toppat chief stood and could not keep himself from smiling, striding over to his Right Hand Lady. An arm easily draped over her shoulder, easily done considering how tall Charles happened to be. "I hope so. I don't think I've had the luxury of lunchtime egg tasting like water before. What's the surprise?"

The hallways were quiet, the only sound being the rhythmic thump of boot against metallic floor. Ellie laughed and a hand raised to adjust her hat. "It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you!" Her reply was swift, voice light. Yet Charles could swear that he could hear the ever slight devious undertone that was normally saved for whenever his Right Hand Lady was pitching a daring and absurd heist that only she could ever hope to pull off.

"That's not fair," Charles muttered softly, but swift was the decision to keep any other halfhearted complaints to himself. Turning a corner, the two highest members of the Toppat clan strode into the cafeteria. Snagging some silverware before placing it by his seat in order to claim a spot, he took the time to adjust the collar of his jacket as Ellie followed. "Alright, we're here. You can tell me now."

Charles was most certainly not expecting for Ellie to suddenly pull a microphone out from the fluffy collar of her attire. "Ladies, gentlemen, and thieves of all extremes," she said as the speaker system crackled to life, "I present to you the newest chef of the Toppat clan!" An arm swung towards the now open door of the kitchen.

Out strode Henry, awkwardly striking a pose with a platter held above his head. A mutter shifted among the crowd, and one brave soul clapped. Such caused for a ripple of clapping to rise from the cafeteria. Charles stared blankly for a few seconds, feeling warmth then sink into his face. "Oh. I'm glad we got the chef position filled in," he said, albeit his voice quieting down bit by bit as Henry began to stride over.

Two dishes rested on the platter, him setting them down before Charles and Ellie. With his hands free, he began to move them around once Ellie's gaze turned to him. "Yea, that was pretty good. I wish I could have gotten the lights working to make it even more dramatic," his Right Hand Lady grumbled as she took a seat. Henry remained standing nearby. Why, the Toppat chief knew not, but he figured that the other standing there was not doing any harm.

Charles sat down as well and unwrapped his utensils. He couldn't quite tell what the other had managed to prepare because his mind was still stuck in a loop of two of the most wonderful people he'd ever met standing and hovering near him. Ellie seemed mighty oblivious to Charles' internal state, and pulled a knife from the utensil kit to cut into the food. It was spaghetti, Charles noted as he finally managed to find focus. Lots of noodles, lots of pasta- "Is that a _bone_ in the spaghetti?!" Charles sputtered when his gaze drifted over to Ellie's plate.

"Henry, what the actual _fuck_." A fork prodded the silver colored item for a few moments, her gaze lifting up to the Toppat clan's latest chef. The other shrugged slowly, a sheepish expression plastered onto his face. "Okay, forget being a chef. The chef position isn't open. I'm promoting you to chief's boyfriend instead." 

That seemed like a good idea, Charles thought as his expression contorted to become one that a person would see in a 'top ten photos taken before disaster' highlight reel. Ellie's voice was still coming out of the speaker system. Everyone in the entire spaceship had just heard that comment. He sputtered and fell out of his seat, crashing onto the tile floor. 

From the devious grin on the face of the two present thieves, he knew that it'd been planned. Gloved hands raised to cover his face, and stiffled a weak mixture of a laugh and a cry. This was going to be an absurd mess, and he knew that he would cherish every bit of it. 


End file.
